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Happy New Year! I hope 2017 is treating you kindly.
There is something about a new start, even one as arbitrary as a changing year, that makes me feel so optimistic. I am not usually one to write out a list of New Years resolutions, mostly because I am afraid I’ll aim too high or too low and set myself up for failure. For example–if I set a goal to work out every day and I can’t make that happen, then I’ve failed. But if I set a goal to work out once a week, am I selling myself short? Or worse, what if I can’t even manage my “safety” goal and then really feel like a failure?
Yeah, I’m probably over-thinking it. So I don’t set resolutions. But I am participating in 21 days of prayer and fasting with my church, and I notice that I have been praying for specific things and ways I would like to grow this year. Which I guess are resolutions in their own way, just not ones that you could quantify in a list.
One realization I’ve had during this time of daily prayer and scripture is that I’ve been living my life with a spirit of fear. This isn’t really news to me or anyone who knows me well. I have always been anxious, since I was a child, and it’s something that I struggle with. There are good weeks and bad weeks, but there is always that anxiety lingering just below the surface even on the good weeks.
BUT God really revealed to me just how much I have been letting fear consume me and determine my decisions in ways that I didn’t even realize. I have been dwelling on my regrets lately, and looking back on decisions I made out of fear and distrust, rather than making the decision that was best for me. I don’t want to live that way, so I’ve been taking small steps to live without unnecessary fear and anxiety–especially over things that don’t matter. This is just the start of a long process, but I already feel great about it and excited to continue to grow.
Do you make resolutions, or do you have a theme for 2017? In what ways are you hoping to improve this year? Leave a comment below and let me know!